As a parent, one of the most challenging tasks I have to undertake is to have a chat with my daughter about “getting into a relationship.” It’s been some time now that I’ve wanted to sit down with my daughter about this matter, but I just felt it was not yet the right time.

I still see my daughter as my baby that I couldn’t imagine having a conversation with her about boyfriends.  I kinda find it very awkward. While physically, she has already transformed into a young lady, I still couldn’t let go of the thought that she’s a baby no more. But lately, she confided to us that her classmate two years back is “in a relationship”, which she found out from her former classmate’s Facebook.

At our dining table, after supper, the incredible task started to unfold. My wife and I first asked her views on relationships and to our surprise her views were those of what we see on TV. Media is so powerful that it creates an impact on the value formation of our children. I felt that as a parent I have to step into the situation or else her values will forever be based on what she sees on TV and discussions among her peers. We then explained to her matters on enjoying teenage life, crushes, psyche of teenage boys on girls, psyche of men on women, courtship, having a relationship, preparing for the married life, and the implications of having a relationship at an early age.

Hopefully, with that discussion, she would get into a relationship at THE RIGHT TIME, with the right man. But only time can tell. I remembered Tyra Banks, the supermodel, said she got into a relationship at a later time compared to her friends because her mum intentionally took her to a long train ride to discuss about relationships. It made an impact on her and she was very grateful of that moment.

Looking back at my teenage life, I don’t remember having such conversation with my parents. But media then was not as powerful as they are now. Censorship on TV and movies was really effective…and no Internet…and no mobile phones. Families back then had more family time…having meals together at the dining table. Parents had bigger influences than outside factors on children. Values are more straightforward.

While I’ve already achieved that Herculean task of talking to my daughter, there’s still a lot of legwork to do. At this critical stage of my daughter – her teenage life, she deserves a lot of love, attention, motivation, and appreciation from her parents. We encouraged her to be more open and make us, especially her mum, her confidants. With all the changes and challenges she would be going through, I hope that being there for her, unconditionally, would give her a happy and fulfilling teenage life.

Valentine’s Day is normally dedicated to the love of my life – my wife -- but for 2010, my wife and I dedicated it not for each other, rather to the love of our lives – our precious 14-year-old daughter. Again, only time will tell as long as we’ve done our part.

To my Valentine, my everdearest wife, thank you for everything. 

What a meaningful Valentine’s Day…and oh, what a relief!